Different Realities, and only worrying about YOURS.

A thought came to me today as I pondered the way someone recently talked to me as though their reality pertained to mine. (I’m avoiding using a gender)

We were conversing about their life, and the statements “they” were making were overly blanketed, as though their blanket of beliefs had bearing on all people. They then started talking about things I should do the same as them, and saying how I too would feel wonderful like they do, if I did these things. These were 'things' that don’t appeal to me…

And then it dawned on me, “The reality you are living, is not my reality. Nor is mine yours.”

Lets look at taste. 

The things I like and enjoy dictate my experiences. If one night I go to an Ellie Goulding concert, and have an amazing time (cause I love her music), then the following night a friend wants me to go see Megadeath with them… I’m going to decline knowing I don’t like their music. I say to my friend that I don’t like heavy metal, I want to pass, but my friend insists I will love Megadeath and says I will find the music so much better than Ellie Goulding.

Oh? My tastes will change because of your tastes?

What if:
We grow up in different states

My parents are nice

Your parents are mean

My birthday was celebrated

Your birthday was unimportant

My favorite sport is running

Your favorite sport is swimming

My favorite food is Italian

Your favorite food is Chinese

My favorite book is A New Earth

Your favorite book is Twilight

I was the popular kid in school

You were bullied

You get my point. My life and my reality will be dictated by WHO I am. Who I am is dictated by my experiences. Experiences are dictated in huge part by tastes, so NO two people are the same, no two have the same reality.

Does this mean we shouldn’t listen to anyone different from ourselves, no, but it does mean we shouldn’t try to force what we like and are and do onto others, because of our own reality. Their reality is not yours!

We need to watch the way we speak and think as it pertains to others lives. My priorities are not yours, your hang ups are not mine.

You needn’t worry about trying to convince anyone their life needs to be anything different unless they come to you asking for ideas on making changes. Unless that happens, projecting your reality onto them, just makes them not want to tell you about their reality.

And anyone feeling like they can’t share their reality with you will mean you have successfully communicated to them you don’t respect their differences.
That’s sad.
Be who you want to be, and let others also!